This Random Life

by Stacy Swinford

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1.
03:22
In this Room I find a place with my guitar Sit myself down here in the dark I’m gonna write a song in this room I light a candle and watch it burn Ideas in my head are starting to turn Themselves into a song in this room In this room staying up all through the night Making changes till it finally turns out right Finish just in time to greet the morning light In this room The pictures signed up on the wall of some of those who came before just to sing their songs in this room (chorus) a note that started long ago is now a song on the radio and it all began in this room
2.
There’s a whisper in the wind And I thought I heard it call out your name There’s a picture in the clouds And I think I see the outline of your face And everywhere I go it seems I’m running into you I guess I want you more than I let on I am haunted, my heart aches, I’m totally consumed I guess I want you more than I let on. There’s a memory in my head Of the last time that I looked into your eyes Conversations that we had Are forever playing out inside my mind Everywhere I turn it seems I’m turning back to you I guess I need you more than I let on The way your smile fills my heart I’m totally consumed I guess I need you more than I let on. There’s a feeling in your touch Desire that I really can’t explain Pure addiction, endless love And it brings me to my knees once again In everyway my life is better just for knowing you Know I love you more than I let on I go down upon my knees and give myself to you Know I love you more than I let on.
3.
I wonder what it was like when I first met you In a different life a thousand years ago There’s something in your eyes seems so familiar It’s like I’ve known you and we’ve done this all before this random life aint so random after all this random life it was written in the stars oh I love this random life I love this random life I love this random life of ours I want to take your hand, let’s walk together And let our souls remember how it used to be We can make some plans, and talk about the future And I can tell you Just how much you mean to me this random life aint so random after all this random life it was written in the stars oh I love this random life I love this random life I love this random life of ours I wonder how it will be, next time you see me In a different life a thousand years gone by Will you look into my eyes, something’s familiar It’s Like you’ve known me In some other place and time this random life aint so random after all this random life it was written in the stars oh I love this random life I love this random life I love this random life of ours
4.
03:02
I’m gonna step off of this ledge and I may fall I would rather feel the pain than to never know at all I will never know until I try I’m gonna step off of this ledge and I may fly And you may call me a fool Maybe that’s what I am At this point I’ve got nothing left to lose… I’m gonna give this my heart I’m gonna take a chance I believe that I wont be let down I’m gonna step off of this ledge and I may fall I would rather feel the pain than to never know at all I will never know until I try I’m gonna step off of this ledge and I may fly You can call me The fool Maybe that’s what I am At this point I’ve got nothing left to lose I’ve got caution in my hands I’m gonna throw it all to the wind I will not let this fear hold me back
5.
what am I waiting for. 
maybe I should walk away
  I may never hear the words 
I've been praying you would say. 

maybe I should walk away 
I could never let you know 
what if you dont feel the same 
and I just can't go down that road

 what am I waiting for
 maybe I should let you know 
these may be the very words 
that you've been prayin for
 what am I waiting for

 walk away from all my fears 
tell you how I really feel
 whisper softly in your ear

 what am I waiting for
 standing here like a fool
 bet you have no idea
 the way I feel about you 

maybe I should walk away 
turn around and let it go 
I can't stand here anymore 
what am I waiting for. walk away from all my fears 
tell you how I really feel
 whisper softly in your ear what am I waiting for.
6.
You look into my eyes I feel you holding me tight You kiss me passionately ‘neath the pale moonlight Is this all in my head Is this all in my head Are you here with me Lying in my bed Or is this all in my head I know you love only me I know that we were meant to be I know we’ll be together for eternity Is this all in my head Is this all in my head Are you here with me Lying in my bed Or is this all in my head I called you up on the phone You said you’d rather be alone I’ll be waiting here for you when you get home Its not all in my head Its not all in my head If you don’t love me You should lie to me instead Its not all in my head Don’t say its all in my head It’s not all in my head They say I’m crazy and its All in my head……
7.
he did some time in vietnam a trip paid for by uncle sam what a waste of time that all seemed to be so he did some drug and drank some beer and lost most of his twenty first year living his life outside of reality according to luke that was a pretty bad year that one there but somehow he carried on somehow he carried on she helped him make it thru and he married my mama in 72 I came along in 1973 he never drank a drop again until moms life came to an end then he spent a year outside of sobriety according to luke that was a pretty bad year that one there but somehow he carried on somehow he carried on Had my son in 94 I thought dad would go before he was born for the cancer had taken its toll on his body once again he pulled through he fooled the doctors and fooled me too came as close to death as one can ever be according to luke that was a pretty tough year that one there but somehow he carried on somehow he carried just last june in my home state the people came to celebrate all of those who would give their lives to keep us free a letter came from uncle sam for what he did in vietnam they gave dad a medal for his bravery according to that was a pretty good year that one there somehow he carried on some he carries on somehow we all carry on.
8.
03:32
I am a Gypsy and I may never settle down For I am one of a wandering kind I am a sailor High upon the ocean waves Guided only by the stars in the sky Searching for my place in space and time Searching for my place in space and time I am a Raven soaring high over the land I keep my head above the clouds in the sky I am a river, I’ve gone a hundred thousand miles And I pray that I never run dry Searching for my place in space and time Searching for my place in space and time (bridge) we may live and we may die be reborn a hundred times before we ever really learn to get it right yes we may live and we may die be reborn a hundred times before we ever really learn to get it right I am a mountain, I stand tall against the storms But the wind and rain will change me over time I am a Gypsy and I may never settle down For I am one of the wandering kind……….. Searching for my place in space and time Searching for my place in space and time
9.
03:43
Look at you oh you look so sad Like you’ve lost your best friend You never knew that it could hurt so bad You never do until it ends And you’re way beyond blue You don’t know what to do Or how to find you way You’re so far beyond blue That the rainbow you once knew Is nothing but 6 sad shades of gray 6 sad shades of gray If you knew then all that you know now Would different choices have been made Now you’re out there and you’re all alone Watching the colors fade away And every time it rains I will think of you Look up at the gray sky and I’ll think of you And I’ll wonder if you’re ok Out there way beyond blue You don’t know what to do Or how to find you way You’re so far beyond blue That the rainbow you once knew Is nothing but 6 sad shades of gray 6 sad shades of gray Way beyond blue……..
10.
Rows of lights in a circle of steel Where you place your bets on a great big wheel High windows flickering’ down through the snow A time you know, sights and sounds all the people goin’ round Everybody’s in step with the season A child is born to a welfare case, where the rats run around like they own the place The room is chilly the building is old, but that’s how it goes The doctors found on his welfare rounds, and he comes and he leaves on the double Deck the halls was the song they played in the flat next door where they shout all day She tips her Gin bottle back till it’s gone, the child is strong A week a day, they will take it away, for they know about all her bad habits 2nd intro Christmas dawns, and the snow lifts up, when the sun hits the handle of her rail room cup She hides her face in her hands for awhile Say’s look here child, your fathers pride was his means to provide And he served him three years for that reason Repeat 1st verse
11.
03:37
It’s a miracle these days To keep the vows you made Seems its over before It even begins So after twenty odd years of working it out He thought he knew what it was all about How could it be now he’s lookin at the end And it’s a hard life as you may know When you’ve come to find its over He don’t know which way to go at all But he’ll be signing the final papers And it’ll be over come September He’s got all summer now to get ready for the fall. She married young she’ll admit But that doesn’t have anything to do with it Cause they’ve had a lot of time to build this life And she always knew what she was meant to be But now he’s breakin the chains off and settin her free All she ever wanted to be was somebody’s wife And it’s a hard life as you may know When you’ve come to find its over She don’t know which way to go at all But she’ll be signing the final papers And it’ll be over come September She’s got all summer now to get ready for the fall. Living a million miles apart Under the same roof for way too long It’s been a long hard lesson learned. The flames of passion that once burned bright Are just dying embers fading into the night They strike the match and the bridge burns… And it’s a hard life as you may know Getting ready for another tomorrow They don’t know which way to go at all But they’ll be signing the final papers
12.
I could take a little time and save a little money buy myself a house up on a hill that would be just fine and I could do it pretty easy if uncle Sam didn’t have his hands in the deal I’ve been spending all my time working to support you in your big white house up on a hill you make me a promise but I’ve stopped believing that you even give a damn about how I feel CHORUS Mr President wont you listen to me cuz I’ve got something to say I’ve worked real hard to make this dollar that you’re gonna take away you keep talking bout a deficit well I’ve got a debt of my own I’ve got bills to pay and mouths to feed waiting for me at home Now I think its time sir that I remind you just who it is you are working for you do right by America cuz we’re the ones that hired you and we’re not gonna take it anymore CHORUS my daddy worked hard all of his life to take care of his kids and wife now where can he turn to when he is in need when the government makes a cut the working man bleeds...... CHORUS
13.
Feelings are strange Especially when they come true I had a feeling that you’d be leaving soon So I tried to rearrange all my emotions But it seems the same no matter what I do Blue Umbrella rest upon my shoulder Hide the pain while the rain makes up my mind Well my feet are wet from thinking this thing over And its been so long since I felt the warm sunshine Just give me one good reason And I promise I wont ask you anymore Just give me one extra season So I can figure out the other four Daytime makes me wonder why you left me Nighttime makes me wonder what I said Next time are the words I’d like to plan on The last time was the only thing you said Blue Umbrella rest upon my shoulder Hide the pain while the rain makes up my mind Well my feet are wet from thinking this thing over And its been so long since I felt the warm sunshine Just give me one good reason And I promise I wont ask you anymore Just give me one extra season So I can figure out the other four
14.
Break my heart Hearts get broken Steal me blind Moneys just a token But the stranger that Was even stranger than he seemed The honesty I thought we had was some Crazy thing I dreamed Another B grade movie For lifes big silver screen Where the king of hearts He always takes the queen Ooo ooo baby Ooo ooo baby Everybody makes mistakes Everybody makes mistakes Everybody makes mistakes Everybody takes and takes Take my love Loves for takin Break my heart A hearts for breakin A the strangers that we love are often Stranger than they seem The honesty we talk about Is someones crazy dream Another B grade movie For lifes big silver screen Where the king of hearts He always takes the queen Ooo ooo baby Ooo ooo baby Everybody makes mistakes Everybody makes mistakes Everybody makes mistakes Everybody takes and takes
15.
bring me a looking glass I need to see if I’m still here bring me out to the edge I need to see if I still fear say something cruel to me I need to see if I still cry bury that knife in me then we’ll see if I’m alive cuz I don’t feel a thing at all oh I don’t feel nothing but numb when you left oh you stole my soul and I think most of me is gone oh I don’t feel nothin but numb bring me a summer rose I want to see if it still smells come light a fire in me do I still burn I cannot tell cuz I don’t feel a thing at all oh I don’t feel nothing but numb when you left oh you stole my soul and I think most of me is gone oh I don’t feel nothin but numb place me in uncertainty and lets see if I fall down throw me out into the wind lets see if I come back around cuz I don’t feel a thing at all oh I don’t feel nothing but numb when you left oh you stole my soul and I think most of me is gone oh I don’t feel nothin but numb
16.
Out in Nevada tonight Is where I long to be Out under the stars Where some things are Just as God meant them to be Out in Nevada tonight Among the sage and pinion pines And what’s left of a land Untouched by man Where the mustang still runs wild It’s calling me home Like a whisper to my heart I wanna run with the ponies I wanna be where the wild things are Calling me home Out in Nevada tonight Past the glow of the city lights The spirits are dancing with the wind Underneath the Nevada sky It’s calling me home Like a whisper to my heart I wanna soar with the eagles I wanna be where the wild things are Calling me home And though I may travel roads ten thousand miles away Beneath the desert moon is where my heart will stay Late at night I lay me down and drift off to dream Of wild open skies and all the wild things I think I hear em calling me………. Calling me home Like a whisper to my heart I wanna sing with the coyotes I wanna be where the wild things are Calling me home Like a whisper to my heart I wanna run with the ponies I wanna be where the wild things are Calling me home Out in Nevada tonight Is where I long to be Out under the stars Where the wild things are I can hear em calling me

about

I have a memory of myself as a very young girl walking with my dog down an old dirt road in the middle of the Sierra Nevada mountains. That moment in time defines who I am as a person, as a songwriter. Someone who prefers to go down the road less traveled. For a long time I thought I was destined for Nashville, yet somehow the road to Nashville ended up bringing me here to Las Vegas. This random life of mine has been a scattered series of twists and turns, of seemingly unconnected events that somehow laid out a path straight to where I’m at right now and I’m right where I’m supposed to be. This random life of mine isn’t so random after all.

credits

released November 27, 2010

SPECIAL THANKS TO;
ADAM SHENDAL DRUMS ON; “GYPSY”, “BLUE UMBRELLA”, “IN THIS ROOM”, “ALL IN MY HEAD” “CIRLE OF STEEL” AND “EVERYBODY MAKES MISTAKES”
MAT CHAMBERS DRUMS ON “MR. PRESIDENT”
LACY J. DALTON VOCALS ON “IN THIS ROOM”
NATALIE CAPRANO VOCALS ON “BLUE UMBRELLA”
KEITH NELSON STAND-UP BASS ON “GYPSY” AND CELLO ON “THE FALL”
SHEILA DAVIS VIOLIN ON “THE FALL”
ROCCO BARBATO HARMONICA AND VOCALS ON “MR. PRESIDENT”
CHRIS HOFFMAN PIANO ON “EVERYBODY MAKES MISTAKES”

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Stacy Swinford Reno, Nevada

Stacy is an Americana singer/songwriter from Reno NV

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